What Luck! Dr. Fauci Announces He’s Been Working On Hantavirus Vaccine This Whole Time

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https://babylonbee.com/news/what-luck-dr-fauci-announces-hes-been-working-on-hantavirus-vaccine-this-whole-time

ROCKVILLE, MD — Hantavirus has quickly become the biggest viral threat to humanity since COVID and as luck would have it, Dr. Fauci has announced that he has been working on a hantavirus vaccine this entire time. How convenient!

Even though Dr. Fauci announced his retirement from the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases back in 2022, the world suspected that he was still up to something. Now at last, we know what it was saving the world by fortuitously working on a hantavirus vaccine.

“You wouldn’t believe it, but I have been working on hantavirus this whole time,” said Dr. Fauci as he was pulled out of retirement for one last viral epidemic. “I’ve been running experiments on how to make hantavirus even more deadly and contagious. But also, I’ve been patenting the only cure for it. What are the odds?”

Dr. Fauci then cackled maniacally for several minutes before screaming “I am the science!” and demanding people do a little dance he made up. “Stand on one foot,” Dr. Fauci instructed reporters. “Now touch your nose. Now pat your head and rub your stomach simultaneously! Good! Good! Now you’re getting it!”

At publishing time, Dr. Fauci had announced his retirement again and was last seen heading to his secret underground lair, which is believed to be under an active volcano.

Pet Wednesday

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To add your pet please send to the email address listed at the bottom of the page.

M. Noll,  This is Luna and Ruby.  They were afraid of the red ball, so we put the ball on the couch to keep them off.

Luna and Ruby.

Larry N., The many Sides Of Dixie… (Larry, I couldn’t download the first image)

Dixie.

Ya Think?

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Image courtesy of Zero Hedge.

@Rothmus

This is bad, right?

Zero hedge has an article up saying the Secretary of Transportation is thinking about suspenfing the Federal gas Tax.

Which sounds good on the surface but won’t really affect the price of gas that much in some states like California, Washington and Illinois.

All of which add taxes over fifty cents a gallon.

Also, I don’t know when that snapshot of gas prices was taken but there are places in California where gas is over $8 a gallon and I have seen Diesel prices over $7 a gallon here in Washington state up around Seattle within the last couple of weeks.

I personally paid $6.49 a gallon here in Vancouverstan Washington, putting some Diesel on my Brother’s 97 F-250 Super Duty that I had to borrow for a few days two weeks ago while I had my truck in the shop.