Eulogy of the Dog

“If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog.” President Harry Truman

John A. Lucas

Apr 25, 2025

From Bravo Blue, https://johnalucas6.substack.com/p/eulogy-of-the-dog Via Wirecutter.

This is a bit different than my normal fare, but if you are a dog lover, or just someone who values a keen insight into human nature and the love of a true friend, read on. I hope you enjoy it.

In 1869 or 1870, a farmer in rural Missouri shot and killed “Old Drum,” the favorite hunting dog of one of his neighbors. Old Drum’s owner sued. He hired a local lawyer, George Vest, to speak for him and Old Drum.

George G. Vest

Mr. Vest’s 150-year-old closing statement to the jury provides an insight into both the value and vagaries of friendship. Any attempt to describe it any further would serve no purpose other than to detract from its truth and eloquence.

* * * * *

23 September 1870 Warrensburg, Missouri

Gentlemen of the jury —

The best friend a man has in the world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter whom he has reared with loving care may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name, may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has he may lose. It flies from him perhaps when he needs it most. A man’s reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees to do us honor when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its cloud upon our heads. The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous, is the dog.

Gentlemen of the jury, a man’s dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground when the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he can be near his master’s side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounter with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince.

When all other friends desert, he remains. When riches take wings and reputation falls to pieces, he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens. If fortune drives the master forth an outcast into the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him, to guard him against danger, to fight against his enemies. And when the last scene of all comes, and death takes his master in its embrace and his body is laid in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there by his graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws and his eyes sad but open, in alert watchfulness, faithful and true, even unto death.

* * * * *

George Vest went on to serve in the U.S. Congress from 1879 until 1903. Eulogy of the Dog was later put in the Congressional Record (October 16, 1914), vol. 51.

I, Hypocrite

I started stealing cigarettes from my parents once in a while clear back in 1970 when I was 10 years old.

By that time I was already a veteran beer drinker and was also swiping my old mans Seagrams 7 and McNaughtens whiskey and downing it straight

So basically 55 years I have been a documented delinquent.

I have quit smoking a couple of times, once for over a year. That was back in the late 80’s when the cheeky bastards at the convenience stores started putting cigarettes in a cup next to the register and selling them for 10 cents.

One thin dime and I was off to the races again.

I have quit a couple times since but after a while started in again. Currently, I haven’t smoked a cigarette since the morning of my last surgery, March 17th.

I am using a Vape the wife gave me but even with that I am not ingesting even half of the nicotine I was , plus none of that tar and other crap that go with cigarettes.

What may have inspired this post and that headline you may ask?

My damn truck..

Every time I have gotten in that damn thing since the surgery the inside of the truck has smelled like a giant rolling ashtray.

The reek would just slam you in the face every time I opened the door.

I finally couldn’t stand it anymore so today I opened that ashtray up and cleaned it out. Along with several butts and a bunch of ashes all over the place.

I almost feel bad because it was a virgin when I bought the truck but whatever.

So hopefully that stink will be gone now. If not, there are escalating steps that can be taken…

Brutus took a beating today. My 2000 Chevy one ton ploughed into a 2018 Rav 4.

UPDATE: The insurance company is going to fix my truck!

Pushed the bumper in and my grill guard, the hood is buckled, afraid to open it, may not latch again. Pushed the fender back into the door so it won’t open more than three inches. The lady crossed in front of me from a center turn lane and I was doing the speed limit of 35 mph. A Valvoline oil change place workers saw the crash and they have outside cameras and had video of the impact. Her car is the picture below, her two doors took the brunt of the crash, she was alright, an elderly lady. My truck took the most damage. I drove my truck home and it has a slight pull to the right, I am hoping it doesn’t have a twisted frame… I am hoping the insurance company will fix it and not total it.

Her car:

An Overdue Thank You

I have a cousin who used to live here in Washington, Washougal to be exact.

He is the reason I moved over here from Portland after I graduated college back in 1991.

He offered me a place to live at his house and we were roomies for a couple of years at least.

His name is Mark and he is a Stand Up guy.

He came in to town last weekend for a family matter and while he is here, he swung by and did a shit ton of yard work for me that I haven’t been able to do. I dug out the weed eater and got it going and he went to town.

Again.

I say again because he was in town last year when I sent out a plea for help and a whole bunch of friends and family showed up to clean the yard. Last year there was 9 of us total and it took 6 hours and 3 trips to the recycling place with yard debris to get the joint cleaned up.

I used to do it all by myself but those days are gone.

Mark is two weeks older than my younger brother and has been more like a brother than a cousin for a long time.

He reads the Blog to keep up with me because he lives in Texas now after he got married to a wonderful woman.

So Thank You again my man, it’s always great to see you and I’m looking forward to catching you again before you head back home.

Lova ya dude.