In case you weren’t aware, The Wifely Unit has an unhealthy fixation on the Seattle Seahawks football team.
Fanatic doesn’t even come close.
Our house is literally a shrine to them and Donald trump.
The shit is absolutely everywhere.
She even has a life sized cardboard cut out of Trump in the dining room.
Seahawks shit?
Every Fucking Where.
Neon signs, blankets, calendars, throw pillows, slippers, pajamas, jackets and coats, posters, coffee table coasters, Bobble Head dolls, hats, bags, purses, fuzzy Seattle dice on the rear view mirror, Seahawks license plate frame…
You name it, if they make it, she has it.
I’m tellin’ ya, it’s not normal.
She lives and dies by them fuckers.
Every Sunday when they are playing, she takes our oldest boy, goes up and waits in line until they open the doors so she can get a good booth,and watches the game at a giant local SportsBar/ Bowling Alley./Arcade.
It actually has TWO Bowling Alleys in the place.
It’s fucking HUGE. Something like a dozen Big Screen televisions on one wall alone.
They even sell Pizza there.
She left TWO HOURS before they open today to get up there and get a good spot.
FIVE HOURS before Kick Off Time.
Just to watch a football game on television.
She even had her finger and toenails painted Team Colors on Thursday.
She reluctantly invited me last night but there is no way in hell I would step foot in the joint. I kid you not, if Seattle lost the Superbowl and I was there?
She would literally blame me for it and hold it against me forever.
That’s how fixated she is on that shit.
And how superstitious she is.
I could care less either way personally. It’s just my mental health and personal misery level that I am interested in.
If they manage to win I am Golden.
If they lose I am in for six months of living hell because she will literally go into a deep depression over it.
The shit I put up with for this woman, I swear.
So here is to the Seahawks winning the Superbowl, because the alternative is something I don’t want to contemplate.
Wish me luck.
Good Lord, man. I wish you the best. The wife and I don’t care who wins. I abandoned the NFL in the “kneeling era” and ain’t looked back.
Yep.
Although, the SeaChickens DID win.
Ho hum.
…Sea Squabs….
Oh, she has it bad. You have it badder, you have to live with and cope with it, come joy or hell high creek water. I am like you, couldn’t care less. My sister in law is a 49er obsessed fan and my brother had to weather her outbursts…
Suck it up.
At least she doesn’t have a life size Biden, Obama, or Bush.
So it could be worse.
Mrs. is a rabid sports fan. I once found her watching a junior high skool gurlz softball tournament taking place in Florida on one of the seemingly hundred ESPN channels on cable. She is also rabid about Chefs (I spelled it like that deliberately) and K-State football but THANK YOU GOD for doing me a solid by not making her as psychotic about it as Phil’s wife. I couldn’t handle it.
The only sport I pay any attention to these days is golf, and then only the big tournaments, such as The Masters, The Open, the PGA, the Players’.
And I don’t like seeing guys with full beards or 5-day growths playing golf on TV. If the PGA and USGA ever relent to allow shorts on TV, they’ll lose me forever.
I won’t be upset if
The NHL falls through the ice and drowns.
MLS disbands and promises never to play on TV again.
The USTA requires all events to be played with 1950s-style racquets.
The PGA and USGA outlaw golf balls which can be driven more than 275 yards with ANY club.
The NBA finally realizes its absurdity and joins the dinosaurs in obscurity.
The NFL tapes all its games and shows only the actual play minus the standing around. Games would take only 15 minutes.
MLB apologizes to the American public for ruining a perfectly good sport.
No one with XY chromosomes is allowed to compete in women’s athletics.
All monies acquired by pro athletes beyond $1 million per annum after expenses is redistributed to St. Jude’s Children’s Hospital and Wounded Warriors.
You’re on to something !
fukkit, at least you didnt have to go!
relax and enjoy the calm
And you have to deal with this while STILL maintaining sobriety?
You sir are far stronger than I. I would be buying rum by the case were I in your shoes. (for the record, I might have had 6 beers in the last year)
Around 5 seconds after that fuckhead knelt and disrespected our flag, I stopped watching or caring about football. Fuck all of them.
I have plenty of other things to do and they’re all more rewarding and constructive.
If I’m done with something far more important this evening, and if I’m in the barn puttering with the Cub, I _ might _ listen to it on the radio, just because New England, where I am from.
Nothing much left for me up there now, though.
And blessedly, my wife couldn’t care less either.
6 months of depression? sounds like you need to rent an apartment within a few blocks of the house if they do lose, that way you will have a relaxing place to crash but still be near the house and work. kidding, but not, that’s an unhealthy obsession.
Apologies Phil, but I’m rooting for the San Andreas Faults this year. They are the real movers and shakers.
I am totally stealing this.
I can’t watch one city’s rented feral farm implements beat on another city’s rented feral farm implements.
When is the game so I can avoid it?
Me too. Permanently gave up on NFL when Kaepernick took a knee. Then Nike rewarded him. Took everything Nike to a blue tarp subdivision under an I-5 bridge. Bums, free shitters, drug addicts, parasites, they look good in Nike.
Oh man that’s a smart play. Make the bums wear it. Thanks for the idea.
I thought foozball was over with weeks ago. Haven’t watched a game since 1986.
Bread and Circuses,brother. After the hive of scum and villainy that are the global power elites as exposed in the Epstein dump, we should be erecting gallows and carving mountain ranges into millstones instead of watching the trash that passes for professional sport.
A big Sunday amen to that.
My sympathies Phil. I’m doing my best to remain as ignorant as possible of the social frenzy today. Being a nooz junkie, I’ll no doubt read some headline about it tomorrow.
When I had a plane, my favorite SBS activity was to go flying. I had the skies to myself, and even the ATC guys on the radio were so bored they were friendly and chatty.
Some years ago, my wife recognized a principle that we live by: If a sport involves a ball, we’re not interested.
Sounds like you are into High-Stakes (professional) Poker, Greg.
Why has every American sport become populated with absurdly compensated narcissists who hate America? One by one as each corporate entity revealed itself as contemptuous of the working class I turned them off. They are the same to me as politicians and the media.
Look at the team owners. A good many of them, especially in the NFL and NBA, have a certain…characteristic in common.
Damn billionaires…
I think there’s been an article or two out about billionaires recently…
My particular gripe about billionaire team owners is my tax money goes to build stadiums for them.
Dude Not only are you safe but you might get lucky!! At minimum if there’s a new toy you want now might be the time! Allan
Looks like you dodged that bullet Phil.
There are few sadder things as someone bitching about the woke middle show while cheering on an team favorite and stuffing goyslop down their throats!
Well Phil … Fortunately … You’re Golden !!! … Seattle’s D thumped the shit out of New England !!! You’ll have a happy Wifely Unit all thru the summer !
Quote I read on another site mentioned that someone should have told the Patsies that the Superbowl was on this weekend…
Well, at least there’s joy in your household now
You’re a good man Phil for letting her do those things, especially with the boy. We done told ya, ya married up. God Bless her, and you brother. All I wait for is the viewing statistics, sounds like it’s going to be a good laugher.
I haven’t been subject to sportzball noise since hubby died. And I don’t miss it at all. The only thing I have to do is keep track of when the local sportz arena is busy because the BBQ place that is the closest thing to KC BBQ is located close by it, and I’m too old to do crazy traffic.
So, now that they won the game, who is cooking and washing the dishes for the next 6 months? chuckling
The croc pot and the dishwasher, Grog.