The Wifely Unit gets upset with me every weekend because she thinks I get up too early and make too much noise.
I try to be somewhat quiet but the bedroom shares a wall with the kitchen and she has the bed crammed right up against that wall so even Nuking a cup of coffee sounds like the microwave is right behind your head.
Which it is, basically.
She can’t seem to understand that when a guy gets up at 5 in the morning all week that getting up at 6 IS sleeping in.
Sorry dear but my bladder over rides your peaceful slumber every time.
I wake up because I gotta piss and once I’m vertical it’s a done deal.
Of course The Murder Princess is up and whining the minute my feet hit the floor so I gotta feed that critter as soon as I can get back to the kitchen after I get out of the bathroom.
You could set a nuclear clock by that cat’s stomach and I’m not joking, it’s unnatural.
I swear she lays awake waiting for my breathing rythmn to change so she can start sniveling.
After that I usually make a new pot of coffee and then I grab my coffee and smokes and head out the front door.
It’s been cold enough to freeze in the mornings lately so there ain’t no dilly dallying around with that.
Done and into the recliner to start catching up on everything.
At that point, if she got woke up, she usually either goes back to sleep or else lays in bed watching who knows what on her little Tablet thingy.
Either way, she doesn’t get up and start moving until 9.
That gives me about 2, maybe 2 1/2 hours of peace and quiet.
I can’t articulate how much I enjoy that little bit of peace.
The entire world can fuck straight off for just that little while.
Phil, so, it ain’t true then, that caring husbands gotta piss down their leg into the bowl, so’s the stream hitting the water doesn’t wake me missus up?
What ever ya do, don’t flush the toilet if ya take a piss until she is up and around.
There is an especially luxuriant shrub out back right off the corner of the back porch….
Does it grow ginormous?
I started doing that when the missus was here. I’d get up at 0500 and have a few hours to drink coffee and ease into the day. She never got up before 0900 and I was already at work by then. Now, it’s quiet almost all the time…
Why do you hate the planet?
https://www.washingtonexaminer.com/policy/energy-environment/limiting-coffee-intake-fight-climate-change-study
Fuck them Eco Weenies.
They can line up to take a big suck outta my ass.
Just one more thing to make us normies pissed off. They want to take my coffee? Try.
Fuck them, I would reincarnate Juan Valdez before that could happen.
We have snarked for many years that the key to our marriage was working opposite shifts. I did swing shift for over 30 years, and she did day shift. I had my mornings, and she had her evenings at least four days a week.
Now, if she’s napping, I sneak around like a cat burglar; and step into the garage if I want to answer the phone.
Why the single life is divine… sure I will die old, shriveled, maybe lonely and nobody will find my rotting corpse until the flies or stink get too bad, I’ll be beyond caring at that point.
Face it, Guido will live a long time after your corpse hits the floor. She’ll survive at least a week unless you’ve lost a few pounds since I last saw ya.
Our three fuzzy fleabags, however, wouldn’t last three days chomping on MY body. The big fat fuzzy pigs eat high on the hog, so when it comes time to eat the hog they’ll do fine.
They often look at me hungrily and lick their lips…
I thought you had four of the little evil critters now? Guido will have to gum most of her nourishment off of me… no front teeth for tearing flesh.
Nope, Furby, the Ragdoll, died at the end of October. He literally wasted away. Died in my arms, poor little guy.
I remember about Furby, but you got two small kittens recently, a brother and sister and was gonna get them fixed if I remember the phone conversation.
Amen for now.
The missus and I have our issues, but waking up and disturbing each other (or avoiding it) isn’t one of them. I woke up at 3am again today, pissed, made coffee, and lo and behold, there she was, reaching for her favorite cup. Took a nap from 6-8am as it was too dark and chilly for me to start working outside. She kept it quiet as she usually does when I have a nap. ‘course she said dumb shit later that confused me, then got pissed when I answered what I thought was the question. But she got over it.
My task today was to remove a large limb that fell from county property onto mine, squishing the fence and denting a gate as gravity set in. Had a new sawchain, fresh fuel, oil. Stretched the chain after one 4″ limb cut. Talk about unhappy camping. Being ever resourceful and 35 miles from the chain store I got out my trusty $40 recip saw, 9″ blade, and finished the task. The main limb was 8″ diam and 12 ft long, tried lifting, too puny in my old age. I have over 100 ft of extension cords so it worked out. Can’t do that if it’s raining. I guess I’ll play Chainsaw Man in the next episode of “Greasy Hands ‘R Us”.
The time between when I get up and when my wife gets up is indeed my favorite part of the day. The peace and quiet is priceless.
You guys need to sleep with a fan or noise machine and then maybe she will not notice you making coffee when she is sleeping?
2 approaches might help: put some r15 rockwool in the wall behind the microwave. It deadens sound pretty well; carefully open the microwave and disconnect the beeper. The easy solution is to stand guard at the microwave and shut it off 1 second early. And learn how to close the door quietly.