An Open Letter To My Trolls

I see the comments.

I see you trying to set me up.

To this day I have not contacted any of you privately

One of your own is spamming you with hacked email addresses, you must think we are as stupid as you are.

Go ahead and try to press charges.

Make sure you have good lawyers first, really good ones.

You are going to need them.

It seems all of you have the memory of Goldfish.

All of your prior comments, admissions and threats have been saved for evidence

You might also want to make sure that you don’t get betrayed from within.

Sarah is sounding really panicked lately for some reason.

Is someone turning up the heat?

This Is For C.W. Over At The Daily Timewaster

He posted a picture of a strange old wrench he found in his toolbox and was asking if anyone knew what it was for.

Since one of the first jobs I ever had and did for a few years is what they used to call an Oiler on heavy equipment, I knew right away what it was for.

It also reminded me of a couple of tools I have had for well over forty years now that I would imagine are as rare as Hen’s teeth, as they were really hard to come by even back then.

Let’s see how many of you will know what these are for.

Even better, a show of hands from everyone who has ever even seen these tools before personally?

I will tell you from experience that these things are the original Knuckle Busters.

Are You Fucking Serious?

I just got woke up at 9:00 A.M. on the dot, on a Sunday morning, by some kind of engine that fired up and went to pretty much full throttle, followed shortly by some very violent noises, the engine loading up hard and then more noises, followed by the engine winding back up to full throttle.

Rinse and repeat.

As I laid there irritated as fuck by being woke up by this commotion, part of my brain started down the list of noises it has encountered and filed away in the past until it hit the right combination and a little light came on in my brain.

Fucking Wood Chipper.

Really?!

The sonofabitch sounded like it was right on the other side of the wall from where I had been sleeping.

So I got up, threw some britches on and a coat, grabbed my smokes and went out front to investigate.

Bigger than shit.

That thing was so loud, I couldn’t hear the little chain saw another guy was using to knock the Arbor Vitae down with.

I’ll have to remember to thank my neighbor for picking such a great time to decide a little deforestation was in order….