Yes, I am on a philosophical bent this morning, Saw it first hand with my siblings, and witnessed here at my “retirement” apartment this morning. Greedy, uncaring bastard children.
16 thoughts on “Yes, I am on a philosophical bent this morning, Saw it first hand with my siblings, and witnessed here at my “retirement” apartment this morning. Greedy, uncaring bastard children.”
you got that shit right ! saw that shit with my own family, I hate to say.
it was so bad that most of us do not even talk with the others anymore.
most of them have no idea where I live or phone number or eve my email.
I really do not want anything to do with most of them anymore after what I saw.
Unfortunately that is when the true person comes out. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
My Dad made me executor. When we sat down oldest brother was upset at the speed of activity. I am not great with words but God must have been with me as I verbalized the time line with the both of them. He calmed down, middle brother left for home at 2am.
Fortunately all worked out and we were all still speaking. Lost that brother 5 years ago.
ps My goal was to keep all of them out of assisted living. Goal achieved thanks be to God.
I spent three years taking care of my mother. After she passed, I pretty well didn’t make any effort to contact what was left of my family, except for matters of her estate. After I retired, I moved, took a new phone number, didn’t pass it on to anyone, and decided my life is better.
My Brother In Law said he was taking care of Dad but my wife would visit and find moldy food, unsanitary conditions, and eventually he had been having numerous auto accidents. We have no idea how much money he helped himself to, we can only prove it was some. When my FIL eventually asked to move in with us the brother fought tooth and nail. After my FIL passed, then things got really tough.
Don’t assume a sibling volunteering to take care of your parent is doing a good job, some people use it as an opportunity to loot the assets and cut their siblings out.
It’s pretty amazing the five of us were raised by the same two people and how differently we turned out to be. It finally ended up with three of us on one side of the divide and the fourth playing go-between with the problem sibling. Things have gotten a lot more cordial since the problem sibling has passed on. But I still keep my distance. I don’t need anybody’s drama.
Next time around, my wife and I are raising dogs.
Three things light me up; abusing children, the elderly, and animals.
You would not believe the fucked up year I have had over this particular topic.
I have a sibling that I don’t care to see again, except in court or a coffin.
Yes, it’s been that bad.
I don’t know what the hell happened in the intervening 12 years between the time I was born and she hit the planet, but something went way off the rails.
You take care of your parents. You don’t lie to them, strip them of their belongings, sell their home, shovel them into a nursing home, try to steal their money, and never visit. I have had to threaten a restraining order.
CedreQ, now you know why I was never able to get back to you about the gardening info in anything approaching a timely manner.
That is okay, I wasn’t miffed or upset. I understand, believe me life gets in the way of living and visiting… I figured you would respond when ya took a break, caught your breath and such.
I interpreted your post to be about those who abandon their parents, or other family members, into a retirement home or assisted living – for whatever reason – just so they don’t have to take care of them. Sadly this happens, I’ve seen it. But considering the replies, did I misinterpret your post?
No Dave you didn’t, the post covers all the dynamics of parents, children and relatives. if you can imagine it, it has happened.
There are always two sides to a coin. My Dad lives with is second wife in AZ, he has vascular dementia and has been non verbal for about 9 years. I am his legal guardian if she pases before he does. I refuse to talk to her after my oldest brother took his life in 2018; when I called to tell her and ask if she could help with the funeral expenses..she sent flowers..When they live locally, I did there lawn weekly and spent a lot of time with Dad cooking and enjoying time. My Mom is presently in a nursing home, she went in in late 2019. My sister and myself did as much as we could, she works full time, I am disable from a work related injury..my Wife helped as much as she could but she work a lot of hours at their families business. I have a younger brother and a sister in law who is a nurse…they did little to nothing to help us..but when the house had to be sold they jumped on the Hitchcock furniture like a tick to a hound. Now in my immediate family, my M-I-L just turned 90, she is a spry old bird. Her son is a liberal EV driving douchebag who believes he is saving the planet. He and I do not speak, he told my daughter he is going to have me evicted if my Wife passes before his mom does…She informed him he cannot as the house is not in his mother’s name it was transferred to my Wife several years ago when her mom deemed it to be as such…These last few years have really put a strain on the conventional family. The asshole B-I-L told his wife and child to stay away from us as we are not compromised by the jabbs, he took his mom and got her jabbed even though she has the coof in late 2020 and had the natural antibodies. He is a CNN propaganda believer, never read a history book for sure.
Both my brother and sister have been jabbed to stay at work, yeah…wtf? We cannot visit our Mom inside the facility because none of us are “boosted”! However we can visit with her outside the facility without masks..it makes no sense. I have a good Wife who supports my views, she sees the hypocritical BS.. we will persevere..
My wife and I do everything we can to keep her mom living at home across town. She’ll be 89 on Monday and she’s coming over for dinner and a homemade cake.
My folks live in a retirement community a thousand miles away. They see what we do but won’t let me raise a finger to help them in any way because they don’t want to be any kind of burden like their folks were.
Sometimes you *can’t* do the right thing.
I was fully prepared to take care of my mother and father, and my MIL and FIL, yet was spared. You sure find out the mettle of a person when it comes time to bury a parent and the will gets read, doesn’t it? I got nothing from my parents, nothing from my wife’s parents. No biggie, but it was amazing to see the poor behavior of some of my (and her) siblings and their families.
I have no idea why I was spared the grief… but I would not contribute to it to all involved, thank goodness!
You were lucky in a sense, Igor, I wasn’t, I was both the Executor and Trustee of the Family Trust and it wasn’t easy with some of my siblings. You are right, it brings out character flaws, old resentments, jealousies and unabashed greed.
It’s this simple, the world is full of pricks and assholes, and unfortunately, we are all related to someone who falls under that description. We would like to think relatives care about us, as much as we care about them. Hurtful yes, but Life’s reality, just cut your loss and move on….My experience from a life so far of 73 years.
you got that shit right ! saw that shit with my own family, I hate to say.
it was so bad that most of us do not even talk with the others anymore.
most of them have no idea where I live or phone number or eve my email.
I really do not want anything to do with most of them anymore after what I saw.
Unfortunately that is when the true person comes out. Sometimes good, sometimes bad.
My Dad made me executor. When we sat down oldest brother was upset at the speed of activity. I am not great with words but God must have been with me as I verbalized the time line with the both of them. He calmed down, middle brother left for home at 2am.
Fortunately all worked out and we were all still speaking. Lost that brother 5 years ago.
ps My goal was to keep all of them out of assisted living. Goal achieved thanks be to God.
I spent three years taking care of my mother. After she passed, I pretty well didn’t make any effort to contact what was left of my family, except for matters of her estate. After I retired, I moved, took a new phone number, didn’t pass it on to anyone, and decided my life is better.
My Brother In Law said he was taking care of Dad but my wife would visit and find moldy food, unsanitary conditions, and eventually he had been having numerous auto accidents. We have no idea how much money he helped himself to, we can only prove it was some. When my FIL eventually asked to move in with us the brother fought tooth and nail. After my FIL passed, then things got really tough.
Don’t assume a sibling volunteering to take care of your parent is doing a good job, some people use it as an opportunity to loot the assets and cut their siblings out.
It’s pretty amazing the five of us were raised by the same two people and how differently we turned out to be. It finally ended up with three of us on one side of the divide and the fourth playing go-between with the problem sibling. Things have gotten a lot more cordial since the problem sibling has passed on. But I still keep my distance. I don’t need anybody’s drama.
Next time around, my wife and I are raising dogs.
Three things light me up; abusing children, the elderly, and animals.
You would not believe the fucked up year I have had over this particular topic.
I have a sibling that I don’t care to see again, except in court or a coffin.
Yes, it’s been that bad.
I don’t know what the hell happened in the intervening 12 years between the time I was born and she hit the planet, but something went way off the rails.
You take care of your parents. You don’t lie to them, strip them of their belongings, sell their home, shovel them into a nursing home, try to steal their money, and never visit. I have had to threaten a restraining order.
CedreQ, now you know why I was never able to get back to you about the gardening info in anything approaching a timely manner.
That is okay, I wasn’t miffed or upset. I understand, believe me life gets in the way of living and visiting… I figured you would respond when ya took a break, caught your breath and such.
I interpreted your post to be about those who abandon their parents, or other family members, into a retirement home or assisted living – for whatever reason – just so they don’t have to take care of them. Sadly this happens, I’ve seen it. But considering the replies, did I misinterpret your post?
No Dave you didn’t, the post covers all the dynamics of parents, children and relatives. if you can imagine it, it has happened.
There are always two sides to a coin. My Dad lives with is second wife in AZ, he has vascular dementia and has been non verbal for about 9 years. I am his legal guardian if she pases before he does. I refuse to talk to her after my oldest brother took his life in 2018; when I called to tell her and ask if she could help with the funeral expenses..she sent flowers..When they live locally, I did there lawn weekly and spent a lot of time with Dad cooking and enjoying time. My Mom is presently in a nursing home, she went in in late 2019. My sister and myself did as much as we could, she works full time, I am disable from a work related injury..my Wife helped as much as she could but she work a lot of hours at their families business. I have a younger brother and a sister in law who is a nurse…they did little to nothing to help us..but when the house had to be sold they jumped on the Hitchcock furniture like a tick to a hound. Now in my immediate family, my M-I-L just turned 90, she is a spry old bird. Her son is a liberal EV driving douchebag who believes he is saving the planet. He and I do not speak, he told my daughter he is going to have me evicted if my Wife passes before his mom does…She informed him he cannot as the house is not in his mother’s name it was transferred to my Wife several years ago when her mom deemed it to be as such…These last few years have really put a strain on the conventional family. The asshole B-I-L told his wife and child to stay away from us as we are not compromised by the jabbs, he took his mom and got her jabbed even though she has the coof in late 2020 and had the natural antibodies. He is a CNN propaganda believer, never read a history book for sure.
Both my brother and sister have been jabbed to stay at work, yeah…wtf? We cannot visit our Mom inside the facility because none of us are “boosted”! However we can visit with her outside the facility without masks..it makes no sense. I have a good Wife who supports my views, she sees the hypocritical BS.. we will persevere..
My wife and I do everything we can to keep her mom living at home across town. She’ll be 89 on Monday and she’s coming over for dinner and a homemade cake.
My folks live in a retirement community a thousand miles away. They see what we do but won’t let me raise a finger to help them in any way because they don’t want to be any kind of burden like their folks were.
Sometimes you *can’t* do the right thing.
I was fully prepared to take care of my mother and father, and my MIL and FIL, yet was spared. You sure find out the mettle of a person when it comes time to bury a parent and the will gets read, doesn’t it? I got nothing from my parents, nothing from my wife’s parents. No biggie, but it was amazing to see the poor behavior of some of my (and her) siblings and their families.
I have no idea why I was spared the grief… but I would not contribute to it to all involved, thank goodness!
You were lucky in a sense, Igor, I wasn’t, I was both the Executor and Trustee of the Family Trust and it wasn’t easy with some of my siblings. You are right, it brings out character flaws, old resentments, jealousies and unabashed greed.
It’s this simple, the world is full of pricks and assholes, and unfortunately, we are all related to someone who falls under that description. We would like to think relatives care about us, as much as we care about them. Hurtful yes, but Life’s reality, just cut your loss and move on….My experience from a life so far of 73 years.