An old rancher is stopped for speeding by the highway patrol and is standing at the back of his truck watching the trooper write out the ticket. A fly is circling the trooper’s head, and the trooper keeps swatting at the fly to no effect.
Circle flies are bad this year, the rancher says.
The trooper continues to write for a moment and then stops, looks at the rancher and askes, what’s a circle fly?
Well, says the rancher, that’s the kind of fly that circles around the asshole of a steer.
Oh, says the trooper, and goes back to writing the ticket. After a few moments, he stops writing and looks at the rancher and says, did you just call me an asshole?
Oh, no, says the rancher, I’d never say that to a law enforcement officer.
Good, says the trooper, and goes back to writing the ticket.
But, you know, says the rancher, it sure is hard to fool a circle fly.
That’s funny as shit, I don’t care who you are.
Oh yeah?
1. Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.
2. Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you’re in bed with a relative.
3. I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it. So I said “Implants?” She hit me.
4. I don’t do drugs. I get the same effect just standing up fast.
5. Sign in a Chinese Pet Store: “Buy one dog, get one flea…”
6. I live in my own little world. But it’s OK. They know me here.
7. I got a sweater for Christmas. I really wanted a screamer or a moaner.
8. If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
9. I don’t approve of political jokes. I’ve seen too many of them get elected.
10. There are two sides to every divorce: Yours and Shithead’s.
11. I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
12. I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore, I am perfect.
13. Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I’ve stayed alive.
14. How come we choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?
15. Isn’t having a smoking section in a restaurant like having a peeing section in a swimming pool?
16. Why is it that most nudists are people you don’t want to see naked?
17. Snowmen fall from Heaven unassembled.
18. Every time I walk into a singles bar I can hear Mom’s wise words: “Don’t pick that up, you don’t know where it’s been!”
19. A good friend will come and bail you out of jail…but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, “Damn..that was fun!
Unabashedly stolen from https://wiredrightcommentary.blogspot.com/
😂🤣
Flies, I hate to think they are smart or correct because I don’t wanna be eatin shit.