16 thoughts on “The Day Phil Shows Up At The Old Folks Home”

  2. Drummer dropping his inhaler was a nice touch. And who doesn’t like skanky punk rock chicks in fishnets!

  3. Reminds me of the episode from “Landman”.

    Hope they show up if I’m ever stuck in one of those damn places. Lazy ass kids, I mad damn sure my parents and in-laws never had to go to one. Toughest labor of love I ever experienced but, most treasured time.

  4. Deathray’s doggie probably went to answer the call of the wild, after hearing another of Phil’s music selections.

  6. This is, sadly, a true story and should give most of us an inkling of what awaits us just before the great abyss opens wide to swallow us whole.

    When Mother started her final slide I got to spend a lot of time with counselors who were void of usable advice and it seemed like they were always stuck off to the side in little half-assed windowless offices that were more like remodeled broom closets. These spaces were universally too small for a second chair, so there was a lot of standing around waiting in the hallway with no place to sit, bored to death, whilst the rehab person or counselor or whatever talked to her boyfriend or polished her nails or whatever she was doing whilst ignoring me. When my feet hurt, I get pi$$y; just sayin’.

    One of these counselors had a life-sized cardboard cut-out of Obama in her cramped little windowless office, if that tells you anything about the mentality…….

    Anyway, one day I was thusly standing beside one of these little office doors, waiting patiently whilst my feet were screaming loud enough to be nearly audible, when I saw one of the facility administrators walking down the hall with a bevy of nurse interns, giving an orientation. I am sorry to report that if we were down by the ocean, that place instantly would have become the Bay of Pigs, if you follow my drift. Anyway, across from the little office door containing the counselor who was ignoring me and my aching feet was the nurse’s station, and another door which the administrator opened and started explaining the various alarms and monitors behind the door.

    And down the hall rolls this little old guy in his wheelchair. He’s scooting himself along with his feet instead of turning the wheels by hand. His head was bald, and he looked a lot like a parrot. A very lecherous parrot, it turned out. He cranes his head around the nurse’s station to get a good look at the hindquarters of all these nurse interns and gets a big grin on his face and goes, “Mmmmmmm” pretty loud. Two or three of them turn around and grin back at him. Then he goes, “MMMMMMMMMM! Nice!” real loud.

    The nurse behind the counter of the nurse’s station kind of hunkers down, shakes her head and puts down her pencil, and slowly lurches to her feet. Clearly, she has seen this before, and often. She comes around the counter with a resigned look on her face, and says “Hello, Leroy. How ya doin’. Let’s get you back to your room,” and slowly wheels ol’ Leroy down the hall, away from all that prime pork. It was quite sad, really.

    • Stories like that and those below were my motivation. My daughter, while going to college, worked at one as a CNA and told me stories daily.

  10. Lord, spare me that degradation. I’ve never been in one of those facilities, visiting kin, that didn’t reek of piss and shit.

    I’d rather walk off into the middle of a snow storm than suffer that slow downhill slide into oblivion skating on two banana peels.

    • I’ve told wifey there’s only one way I’m leaving the comfort of my own house, and that’s in a box.

  11. Can you imagine the groupies saying “Yell sweet nothings into my hearing aid”?

    Still, if they take their false teeth out and you go in on the gums …

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