I had a colonoscopy this morning. Didn’t eat solid food since Saturday evening, had to drink some stuff that tasted like they dipped parts in it to chrome coat them last night plus tons of water.,
Squirted out my ass all night until almost 4 A/M. Then had to be up at 5:30 to get ready to be at the hospital at 7:00.
Got knocked out and woke up at 8:30.
I have been asleep all day.
The instructions were written by a former Nazi SS guard and if you didn’t follow them exactly they would refuse to do it and charge you for an office visit so you could come back later and do it all over again so The Wifely Unit made me follow them to the letter and the minute.
Apparently they sliced out 5 polyps so now I have to wait on the lab for results. The minute we got out of there we went down the road to a Shari’s restaurant and I had steak and eggs with stuffed hash browns with gravy on top and sour dough toast. I polished the plate.
All this bullshit because I have been anemic since the first of the year. My fucking doctor refused to just let me take some iron supplements and demanded I have this done to make sure I didn’t have an internal bleed, which I repeatedly told her I never saw any evidence of.
So I ordered some fucking Geritol off Amazon and started taking that. The pre-interview for this ass exploring had me give blood samples and the anemia had been fixed.
Duh/Face Palm.
Supposedly, after FIFTEEN MOTHERFUCKING MONTHS, this is the last fucking hurdle and now my Cardio Vascular surgeon can set a fucking date to go in and put some stents in just below where the Aorta splits off into two arteries.
They aren’t going to do Fuck All with my legs.
Something is better than nothing at this point but I’m telling ya, my hatred of doctors and the entire fucking medical industry is white hot right now.
I’ve been through two of those colonoscopies and the first one the doc took out some internal roids that left me with the shits for a week and a half. A bit over a year ago I had a mild heart attack and had two stents put in. Prior to that my legs were so tired at the end of the day I hated to have to walk the 100 yards back to the shop in the evening when I forgot to lock up or turn off the air or some such. Now, I’m just a normal worn out 73 year old retired farmer with a semi busy welding shop and my legs are still good at the end of the day though the rest of me is usually worn out. Good luck with the stents. I’m rooting for you.
I’ve also had two colonoscopies. The first one they removed two polyps which came back negative, and the second one there were no polyps. Both times I woke up with my pants around my ankles and a quarter in my hand. I call it a win win.
US healthcare system suffers from big corporate interests funneling yuge $ to lobby-cists to write laws that favor the corporation and not the patient. But you knew that already.
New laws are named for the opposite of what they actually are, e.g. The Affordable Care Act.
Don’t forget those assholes running the insurance companies, who direct and control a good deal of this foolishness, and their running dogs in government.
Backwards. You have it backwards.
It’s the fuckwits in government that control the insurance companies and the pharmaceuticals.
Back in the mid 70’s, even 60 Minutes ran a segment about how government control of medical insurance and billing via Medicare and Medicaid was rapidly driving the price of treatment, medicines and all other health-care related issues up and up and up.
That was before the revolving door policy between the government, pharma, medical and insurance companies. Now, one government administrator can go from one aspect to another to another to another. Set the rules then make money off of them.
If you say so. But, tell me, who pays off the politicians hmmm?
If they got 5 polyps, count your blessings, since all colon cancer starts as polyps. They will have you come back for another one in 5 years, which is the protocol if they find polyps on a colonoscopy. It is 10:years if you are polyp free.
Diverticulitis is an inflammation in your bowels, it usually form pouches of tissue wall, can be very painful. It normally isn’t associated with colon cancer, because of the inflammation and possible infection it may trigger a cancer response, so prompt medical care and possible surgery to correct the bulging sac.
I was diagnosed as having diverticulitis a couple years ago because I was in constant pain and constipated. Occult blood test was negative.
I had a colonoscopy a little over a year ago. They found and removed four polyps, also noted hemorrhoids on removal of the “instrument”. The report didn’t say whether the hemorrhoids were internal or external. Pain went away after about a week and constipation was gone almost immediately.
I have heart problems, so they had to do the colonoscopy in the hospital.
I’ve lived with colonoscopies since ’08. Bad as they are, I wouldn’t be here if I hadn’t had the first one. Early stage 4 colon cancer. Have DVT in both legs and a couple of mild (???) PEs. Major veins plugged up from clot scars. Overall though, I feel OK and am thankful I’m still here to bitch about it. Something’s going to get me so I enjoy what I can while I can.
Damn, I hate drinking that crap. I pick a flavor I don’t like anyway so as to not ruin a flavor I do like.
Buck Ofama and Ofama care. And Jackass snitch McCain as well
I think a colonoscopy and endoscopy can be a good thing for detecting cancers, but I also think they’re a chop shop for doctors to make a very good living. They’re probably great at what they do, but they offer no guarantee a doctor would not do any damage while performing the procedure.
So, no thanks.
I was having gut problems in 2004, went to the doc, full physical, she tells me I’ fine. Still have the problems, go to the doc again in 2005, full physical, tells me I’m fine. Problems continue, I demand a colonoscopy, doc fights me, I don’t relent, colonoscopy finds stage 4 colo-rectal cancer which these idiots could not find. Spend the next year with chemo and radiation which does not quite kill me.
Bad doctors are dime a dozen. Thankfully I had one or two good surgeons to save my ass.
wv citibilly… same thing in the 60’s with tonsils. Still got mine and ain’t had a cold in 50 years. Get tonsilitis (etc), get pills and a doctors note to be off work legally. Use to get a penicillin shot and back to work in 3 days…pills take a week to work.
All the best, for the least blowback, on their fishing trip inside…..
Modern medicine is great at physical trauma, but sucks at disease. In fact, they’re always fishing for more disease because like Willy Sutton reportedly stated, ‘It’s where the money is’.
All they do is cut, burn and poison. Not a whit about what gets stuffed into the pie hole. As if toxicity and/or malnutrition had nothing to do with health.
I walked away form further 4th stage cancer treatment in ’19, when they wanted to take out more lung (testicular cancer, spread all over). Still not ‘back’ but a hell of a lot better by taking charge of myself. I hire them to do the things I can’t, otherwise, f*ck ’em!
That’s one of the funniest descriptions of a bad experience I’ve read since the one about the guy who decided to test his wife’s wee tiny taser on himself, then woke up out of a lengthy seizure.
Damn, Phil, I usually go out to the coral reef to look at polyps. Your readers are just glad that you didn’t post any pictures of your internals!
I’ve had two colonoscopies and endoscopes done, after which I gave up using anti-inflammatory tablets, too aggressive on your gut.
I wholly agree with you about the preps for the procedures, quite unpleasant. Mind you, considering that body part, if I was a proctologist then I would charge a big fee too.
A good thing for the patients that real cut-rate operaters aren’t funded by insurance companies, imagine Cederq with a Polaroid camera in a plastic bag and a Mag-Lite torch. He’d charge extra to use some lube!
I wish you better luck with your vascular problems.
The further away from doctors and lawyers and politicians, the better off you are.
My colonoscopy was just after the 10 year census and I burst out laughing in the middle of it. When the ladies asked what I was laughing about I asked what they had put on their census forms to answer the question “What did you do at work today?”
You have to be careful with that powdered depth charge they give you beforehand. A colleague didn’t read the instructions, took both sachets in the morning and came to work. She didn’t stay long . . .
Condolences Phil – I hope you find results that you can work with. You are a bit lucky. As I am on blood thinners, for my colonoscopy, I had to stop taking them due to risk of camera causing damage and them unable to plug up the leak inside my gut.
“Hey Doc – won’t my blood clot up and possibly cause a stroke without these blood thinners ?”
They gave me Leprasol (or something like that) that I had to inject into my stomach 4 times a day for a week. I had yellow – blue spots all over my guts when I went in. My blood numbers were all jacked up because of this. Hilarity ensued but what you gonna do ?
For the cleaning out and to avoid nighttime runs to the shitter, I began my cleanse at noon. By 8:00 pm, I was passing clearish liquid (sorrry for TMI). Procedure went okay and after a meal, I knocked out for some hours, figuring I earned it.
Praying that the pathology report on your polyp’s comes back negative.
I’m with you on the lead up to treatment. I live in this earth suit 24/7, so I trust my judgement on what is normal and what isn’t. I had carpal tunnel issues. I bought a brace, and it helped for about a year. When it quit helping I went in. They said, “we’ll order up a brace.” I said, “done that for a year already. It quit working.” Surgery was about a month later.
I’ve had at least two borescopes, they’ve always found polyps, always benign.
My last one, as soon as they hooked up the heart monitor, the crew started asking me if I was on blood thinners, which I wasn’t. Went through the procedure and it’s “We found polyps again. Take some baby aspirin and go see your GP on Monday.”
“Um, why?”
“Because you’re in a-fib, that’s why.”
“Damn, doc; where did you stick that thing?”
And thanks for the heads-up there jrg. When I get my next summons, I’ll consult with my CRNA son beforehand about slowing/stopping my blood thinners.
As I’m 82 and never had a colonoscopy. Had to drink that same crap for a gallbladder surgery and was allergic to it. It didn’t work on the correct end and the projection on the other end was truly a sight to behold. Finally after 3 hour of projectile vomiting hubby threw me into the car and took me to ER. They filled me with morphine so I slept through everything even the surgery.
Best friend is a retired doc and was telling him about all your blocked arteries and he couldn’t believe that hadn’t done something immediately. Like within 2 weeks of finding it. But I will say, after almost losing brother, twice, and niece to east coast medicine I don’t think much of it.
A colonoscopy to check for an internal bleed??? Blood in the stool can be checked with a stool sample!!!! Someone made their money on you… Such is modern “medicine…”
DUDE!!! Best healthcare system in the WORLD, don’t you know that? Also, the strongest military, the best economy, the most benevolent goobermint, and then MUH FREEDOM, too. Now you just get your ass out there and celebrate 4th of July with those deadly firecrackers that are illegal the other 51 weeks of the year, or ELSE!!!
It was a prescription colonoscopy prep that gave me a full blown tonic clonic epileptic seizure and very nearly killed me. I don’t actually remember that part but my son heard me fall and found me on the floor seizing. I hit my shoulder on the ceramic tile floor and my head on a metal bed frame. It ripped open a hernia repair, tore my rotator cuff, permantly damaged my visual cortex, and caused a major retinal detachtment. 7 operations later I’m actually healthier than I have been in years. If you want to heqar something funny there is a YouTube of Karl Childers from SLing Blade getting a colonoscopy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WwbtqZj_ciU
After my first colonoscopy I prepared for the second by fasting for five days ahead of time. The doctor said he’d never seen such a clean passageway before.
sorry to hear that phil. doctors are the enemy now. hope you get a good one that still cares about health.
Have had two of them. Neither time was because of any health reason. Just age. Woke up half way through both. And I have said sleepy does not work well for me. At my age I do not plan to go in for a third. Damn quacks anyway.
Been dealing with colonoscopies since 1996 (?). I have chronic health issues and that seems to be their favorite procedure.
Suppose to have another this year since I finally turned 65. We’ll see what the NP says next month when I do my annual checkup.
Phil, I feel your pain. As a disabled vet (that I don’t get payed for anymore) I started dealing with Dr.’s when I was 19. What a nightmare! Then the VA took everything away from me, another nightmare!
Then this other disorder showed up. Yipee!
Welcome to the I hate Dr’s Club! First cup of lifer juice is on me. LMAO.
Hang tough Bro!
Catfish