Bustednuckles

This be one of them.

I had a Doctor for I dunno, fifteen, twenty years?

I liked the guy but I never went to see him unless it was something serious, ya know?

At one point it was 8 years since I had seen him and they had to get into their archives to even find my file.

His office ladies hated my ass.

From what I gathered, nowadays, they want you to “Have a relationship” with your medical providers.

Spit.

I got news for you people, it’s all I can do to keep “My Relationship” with my freaking WIFE intact on any given day.

You doctor types ain’t got a chance.

So anyways, that guy retired, good on him I say, he was only 5 years older than I am.

Which of course, left me with no “Primary Care Physician”.

So other than the various emergency room visits in the last six years, no doctor.

My brother kept telling me about his, tells me he just loves her, yadda yadda yadda, I should go see her.

He even told her about me and she said she would be glad to take me on.

( newsflash, many professionals have tried and failed honey)

But I finally relented and gave her a call and set up an appointment.

I go see her, I do like her, she is wicked smart, empathetic and gets right with the program.

This is where the meme above comes in.

After ONE VISIT, I walk out of there with prescription for FIVE different pills she wants me to take, every freaking day.

I can barely remember to tie my shoes every morning and you want me to keep track of that?

R U serious?

The second visit, I’m having trouble with some of this crap, especially this Oxycodone shit or whatever they call it. It ain’t the shit that was all in the news for being abused a couple years ago but is kinda like, right below that shit.

It was keeping me up at night, giving me headaches of all things and just generally felt, corrosive, is the best way I can explain it.

Me no likey.

So she got rid of that and went back to Vicodin, which I ain’t a big fan of either but the amount of pain I deal with every freaking day after being on my feet is more than I can stand so whatever, at least it’s something when I need it.

In the mean time, she adjusted a couple of these other prescriptions so now I have this little brown paper bag with about ten different bottles of pills in it that I ain’t taking anymore and five more sitting here next to me, including a prescription for ASPIRIN of all things, that I am somehow supposed to keep track of.

If someone was to put a bottle of flea killer or de-wormer next to all of them I would absolutely throw one of them down along with all the rest of them and not be the wiser for it because I wash them all down with my first cup of coffee in the morning, before I am all the way awake.

Gotta love that shit.

NOT.

Big Pharma can lick my taint.