Drake Anthony @styropyro_

Who needs a plasma cutter when you can just wire 100 car batteries together?

Yeah that’s cool and all but after just having to buy ONE battery at $165…

That would be $16,500, IF, you had 100 battery cores to turn in. If not then you can add another $2.000 at $20 each.

Just to cut a hunk of steel.

You could buy a whole PALLET full of plasma cutters for that kind of money.

Not to mention not having to try and blow your self up by blowing molten steel all over a pile of batteries 5 feet away…..

Where my truck used to be.

I’m really going to miss that old sonofabitch too.

It was a good truck.

The short story, several years ago, The Kid went and got a new job doing something I can’t remember right now. He had graduated from working at several different pizza joints and had finally found something decent.

He hadn’t been there very long when all of a sudden one day he shows up in a brand new Hyunday coupe.

Didn’t bother to consult with Momma, just went and did it himself.

I was horrified and impressed at the same time.

I think he was about 20 at the time.

His Mother was fucking livid.

I stayed the hell out of that whole conversation.

I’m not completely stupid.

So as the years go by there are the usual hiccups.

Late payments, car trouble, etc., etc.

When I got the Big Red Dodge, Momma immediately started making noises about giving the old Chevy to The Kid.

I cringed every time she brought it up.

Horrific visions filled my head.

Anyways, here yesterday The Kid shows up with the girlfriend and The Wifely Unit started asking me what all the crap in the back of it was and saying I needed to clean it out.

The Kid is having car trouble again but is down to the next to the last payment on his little Hoopty and doesn’t want to throw any money at it.

After six years of semi neglect and abuse, he just wants it to go away.

So I cleaned out the truck and handed her the keys.

Ain’t no point in saying one word.

Ten minutes later as I’m sitting here pondering fate, The Kid sticks his head in the front door and asks me how to start it.

Huh?

He has borrowed it before and should know how.

I said put the key in it and turn. Duh.

The entire time I owned that truck, it never once failed to crank right over and fire right up.

I even drove it just last weekend.

So I go out there, turn the key and…… nothing.

The battery is deader than a door nail.

So I get in behind the seat of the Dodge and get the brand new jump start / air compressor I bought at the beach a couple weeks ago and hook it up.

It labored a bit and then fired right up.

So while I am sitting there telling them that I have never had a problem with this thing, I let it run for a while.

After about ten minutes I shut it off and tried to start it again.

It cranked over two full revolutions and the battery shit the bed.

Normally it doesn’t even get one full turn almost, it fires right up almost instantly.

So bigger than shit, it’s now ten minutes to seven in the evening and I gotta go buy a battery.

I always carry a six inch crescent wrench in my back pocket so I whipped it out and yanked the battery.

I told The Kid to throw it in the back of the Dodge and let’s go.

I was thinking at this point I was going to wind up at Wally World and dreading every second of that.

It is a huge ordeal to buy batteries from those fuckers these days.

Just because, I called my local parts house and was surprised that they were still open. They are like 2 blocks from Wally World so I told them what rig and what year and told them to set one out.

In and out in less than ten minutes and my bank account is lighter $165, even with the discount I get from having been a loyal customer for so many years.

I looked at the receipt real quick as I was coming home and the list price for Joe Blow was $240.

Gotta love that place.

Got home, threw the new battery in, turned the key and it fired right up.

So not only did I lose my spare truck, I had to buy a battery to make it go away.

It’s almost like it knew what was happening and didn’t want to go either.

I already miss the thing. It did what I needed it to do, every time and the thing hauled ass when I wanted it to also.

Compared to this 3/4 ton 4WD Dodge, it was a freakin’ Hot Rod.

I will always remember my trip to South Eastern Oregon last year when I opened that thing up out in the middle of nowhere and just held it to the floor for miles and miles with the engine screaming and the speedometer completely buried.

I loved every minute of that.

This is one reason I am so concerned about The Kid having it.

Trucks are completely nose heavy .

When it rains, the back tires on that thing will break loose at forty five miles an hour if you stomp on it.

It also means it don’t wanna stop if you slam on the brakes. Rear wheel ABS or no.

It is what it is at this point. He is family and needed a rig. The Chevy was just sitting there most of the time and at least it will get some use.

That still doesn’t mean that I am not going to miss it.