At this point my distrust isn’t even quantifiable.

For those who don’t know or don’t remember, I grew up with the Viet Nam War on the television every fucking night.

Even back then I knew I was being lied to.

Hell froze over!

Yet.

So I can throw it in the drawer with the half dozen other tape measurers I do already have.

Gotta admit it’s pretty clever though.

Bet ya dollar I still cut a board too short and crooked.

This will always be my favorite Marshall Tucker Band tune.

Now pick your jaw up off the floor and wipe that astonished look off yer face.

Y’all didn’t think I had it in me did ya.