44 thoughts on “My Truck”

      • Just because you have raised an idiot son and failed to teach him proper driving technique is not our problem.

        I’ve driven Subarus since ’94 almost exclusively and even owned a ’71 FF-1 four door that I picked up for $100 in ’83 with a parking ticket in the glove box from the District of Columbia PD where the make was listed as “unknown”.

        Subaru drivers are among the most reliable on the road. If you’re looking for the real left lane bandits look no further than the Prius. Our nation’s highways would flow a thousand times smoother without them or your numbskull offspring.

  2. After a painstaking random poll conducted of a secret select panel of regular readers and commenters that visited this site,
    I can confirm that there was a 💯% positive response that yes it is your truck.

  3. Well, my initial thought was Prius, but after some consideration I realize that in some cases the poor bastard may have had little option in the matter, so I’m going with either the British Lotus Evija or a Lamborghini.

    I’d also be a bit suspicious of someone proud of a Hummer EV, too.

  5. People in new trucks. Especially trucks that have completely empty cargo areas.

    • They are pimped out ghetto truck, even if an old white bastard is driving one because he is the only one stupid enough to finance one.

    • I agree with you. There are more quad cab pickups in my neighborhood than cars. One neighbor a street over has 3 of them in the driveway.

      I guess for $80-110 K, they do not come with turn signals, or the dumbass drivers are too stupid to use them.

  6. Any vehicle in front of me is being driven by a total ARSEHOLE (Brit spelling).

  8. Anyone at the wheel of a BMW or Audi.
    Hippies driving Volvos older than fifteen years.
    Every dipshit driving any vehicle with one of those fart mufflers.

    • > Audi. <
      ^This, including their SUVs.
      Every Audi, everywhere, at any time in history past, present and future.

      I have no trucks to nominate.

  12. Anyone on their cell phone swerving all over the place doing 10 under! Also, down here, almost anyone from out of state. They drive the speed limit or 5 under! It’s FL, you’ve really got to be doing something stupid to get a ticket here (100 in a 70 or shooting at someone from a moving car).

  14. Place my truck in the category of being operated by an “occasional asshole”

    Trying to do better, ya know.

  17. MF’n Nissan drivers. Fornicated behind the eyeballs. Especially in that SUV closely followed by the sedan. Not talking about the small pickups – those fuckers are all right. Pickups are usually loaded down with work equipment and the trucks are beat to hell. But those Nissan Pathfinders – zippo them, each and every one.

    • Hahahaha. Joke’s on you. Just because I’m wearing a checked shirt and am disgusted by the thought of having sex with men doesn’t make me a lesbian.

      And Grumpy is right about the BMWs and Volvos.

  20. Yes, Tesla. Saw a Cybertruck heading west out of town a few weeks ago and wondered if they realized they were 73 miles from the nearest charging station.

  22. There was a study some years ago correlating the number of bumper stickers with the increasing aggressiveness of the driver. Anything over six is to be avoided at all costs.

    • Greg, I have one, it says, “Warning, Ornery Old Bastard on Board.” Should you avoid a driver thus identified?

  23. Any car with the sticker “New driver. Please be patient”. A lot of these cars are being driven by people in their 30s & 40s. Crap-ass drivers that should not have a car.

  24. Bicycle. In the 1000s I’ve encountered, may 3 have not had a 2 year old’s definition of “share”. They all think “share” the road means they get to hog it. They can’t get within 20mph of the speed limit, have 20 cars lined up behind them, and they refuse to let anyone pass.

  25. I’ve seen 2 of those cyper trucks in traffic this week and I can’t even imagine what kind of self important pompous asshole buys something that serves no purpose other than virtue signalling. This summer when it get to 115 degrees and they have to run full blast A/C just to be in it we’ll see how long those batteries last.

  26. Around here it’s full size 4×4’s and duallys, usually diesel, with a big lift kit and spacers on the wheels to make them stick out 8-12″ past the fender wells. They ride the center line and sling every piece of shit they run over, everywhere.

  28. The moron in front of me, in the far left lane, who made a right turn across all three lanes.

  29. Most people under 35. They have no idea how to drive and especially if you’re behind one with one of those “Baby on Board” signs in the back window. Anyone that doesn’t know how to drive a standard.

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