I’m Tellin’ Ya, It Wasn’t Me!

So there is this “”Neighborhood ” app kinda thing called NEXT DOOR that I joined to keep tabs on what’s going on around here.

Lots of creeps stealing shit out of peoples yards, tons of missing pets and HUNDREDS of fucking Karens whining and sniveling about all kinds of stupid shit.

Sometimes it can be quite entertaining.

I constantly get Email updates about this shit and most of the time I just delete the damn things but today was different.

Today’s installment caught my eye right away with just a cursory glance at the teaser paragraph in the email alert.

I just got home and opened it up.

As soon as I read the whole thing I was FORCED to comment on the damn thing.

Read this and you will see why…

Dennis Akins

Oakbrook

•6 hr ago

• Edited •

An old man with gray hair wearing blue jeans driving a red pickup truck bearing Washington plates stole our yard sign at 3:30 am this morning. It was captured on security video. Identifying the exact year/make/model of the vehicle was very easy. I just showed a picture of it to ChatGPT and it spit the answer right out. A little digging would easily reveal this guy’s identity. Somebody tell this guy that creeping around in other people’s yards in the middle of the night is the behavior of a child. This is not how America is supposed to work. Only goons do stuff like this. Don’t do it again, or you’ll end up with the police at your house.

Umm, yeah.

That description fits me to a “T’, as in EXACTLY!

So I replied to it and said that this description fits me exactly but it sure as hell wasn’t me at 3:30 in the morning.

If you will notice, they don’t say what the sign was about.

I have a dollar says it was a Biden/Harris sign.

If I happen to run across some old codger driving a red truck around here I might have to flag him down and offer to buy him a beer.

15 thoughts on “I’m Tellin’ Ya, It Wasn’t Me!

  1. I drive a white pickup. Look around – how many white pickups do you see? (Here? – a lot). Red stands out. Invisibility by being common.

  2. I put my Trump sign in front of a good sized rock near the street. It will cost them if they try and run it over.

  3. Saw an older gent in a convertible as i was pulling in to the supermarket and he had his backup lights on, ready to reverse out of his spot. He had a MAGA hat on. I gave him extra room as it looked like he couldn’t turn easily to see behind him. I tried to say “hey I like your hat!” But I don’t think he heard me. This is in an area with lots and lots of seniors many of the Gods chosen people variety so I give that guy a llt of credit.

  4. I have been on nextdoor a couple years now. It has good entertainment value with all the whining. Then I make a snarky comment and the nextdoor thing tells me to not be rude. Fun times.

  5. Stolen yard sign in WA(if memory serves that’s where you live)? More likely it was one of the few Trump supporters living in Commie dominated WA state. You should tell him to put an air tag in the replacement. Then he and the cops can find the perp pretty easily.

    • The cops in my podunk California town wouldn’t even look up from their coffee for something like this… but go 48 in a 45, and you’ll have five cruisers parked behind you as the lead one gives you a ticket…

      It’s up to US, folks.

  6. I got thrown off nextdoor, the cat ladies were missing cats & I told them to look at the pound. I was catching 3 or more a week. Don’t want to pay a fine to get your stupid cats back keep them out of my yard.

  7. Why steal some idiots yard sign? I like to see all the signs for the kackling kocksucker and tampon timmy, as it allows me to accurately assess the location of many (formerly unknown) enemies and otherwise untrustworthy assholes in my AO. They are doing the good guys a huge favor in placing these signs.

  8. Oh, good lord; the Nextdoor network/scam. I worked a really good gig in Grand Rapids, MI several years ago. At the second place I rented, near the “Medical Mile”, there were a lot of university types who kept normal hours, as well as a lot of “sugar daddy” setups, often sponsored/run by the colleges(Several of my colleagues had girls, but I was never tempted. Too old and ornery, and I have a wonderful wife).

    I would go into work @ 2am most days so that I had the engineering network to myself for several hours. On a whim, I signed up for Nextdoor, inputted my local address, and soon found out that a lot of posts pertained to someone from Ohio keeping odd hours, wasn’t very talkative, and sometimes carried firearms to and from my car. The people posting concluded that I was a drug dealer, and I soon got a visit from the local blue swine.

    Several of the neighbors were outside when the pigs showed up, wanting to see my apartment, naturally without a warrant. BTDT in DC some 20 plus years ago, so I told them to look at the sticker on my car from the client, and gave them my recruiter’s phone number(per policy; you NEVER give out client supervisor’s phone number/contact info).

    Neighbors were clearly hoping for some action; people were leaning out of their windows or standing nearby. I refused to discuss my work, telling the swine to talk with my recruiter.

    After talking with my recruiter, and the client(the recruiter got the community liaison from the client to speak with the pigs), the cops left, but the posters on Nextdoor kept stating that I was a drug dealer. One person said that they ran my plates, and that I was a convicted drug dealer. Several people, including some very pretty young women, wanted to trade drugs for nookie, while others made threats. These were both online and in person. Some of my peers were envious of the photos sent.

    I dropped off Nextdoor soon afterwards; not worth the hassle.
    Here in Cincy, most of the people that seem to be on it are selling various dubious services(a local news site that I frequent runs screenshots from Cincy posters) or finding N@zis everywhere.

  9. It wasn’t NextDoor that almost got me arrested (it didn’t exist back then) but some girls from a nearby high school gave police a description of the guy who tried to coerce one of them into his car. Perfect description of my car, some of the plate numbers, and a close description of me. The story made the local papers, and friends were calling “WTF, Bunk?!”

    I was working out of my apartment at the time, odd hours, the landlord didn’t like me much, and I had no alibi were I to be pulled over. I hunkered down for about a week.

    Fortunately for me, when the police interviewed the girls individually their story fell apart. The little bitches had made it up for shits and giggles.

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