I Sent This To The Wifely Unit

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I got into a heated argument with her last Summer  when she was wanting me to load up the riding lawnmower she finally allowed me to get.

Come to find out the only reason she relented in the first place after I had been wanting one for five fucking years was so that I could drag the thing on a seventy mile round trip to go mow her Dad’s giant lawn. I told her these fucking ramps are dangerous, right after one of them tried kicking sideways on me, right in front of her.

I sent her this so she just maybe will get a fucking clue that I’m not talking shit when I say they are dangerous.

I drilled holes in the end of mine and matching holes in the tailgate. Then I drop a bolt into the holes so the damn ramps can’t spit back out like that. I also ALWAYS back up into the bed of the truck.

You gotta know that little ride fucked that old man up.

Lucky for him, the neighbor behind was watching, along with whoever was filming it, so they could drag him out from under the damn thing and call an Ambulance.

16 thoughts on “I Sent This To The Wifely Unit”

  1. Put the pickup in the street, wheels in the gutter. That driveway is steep enough that it wouldn’t have been much greater angle than mowing the yard was.

    Besides everyone knows you take the tailgate off and put the ramps on the the bumper so you don’t get high centered quite as easily. And if at all possible, put the ramps on grass so they sink in a little and can’t squirt out like that.

  2. The one and only time I put a rider into a pickup, it was on a slope, too. But the pickup was downhill from me, and I pushed the motherfucker up the ramps into the bed.

    I was younger then.

  3. I flopped my GT225 John Deere over backwards, unloading it off of a trailer that didn’t tip. Thought I was OK because the ramps were long enough for a decent approach angle. I didn’t get hurt, but could have, very easily.

    Leigh
    Whitehall, NY

  6. My truck came with ramps. Tailgate has a built-in “lip” that the ramps slide onto. Ramp cannot come loose. Best idea ever.

  8. Good way to activate your o life insurance policy. Perhaps that’s her real reason for wanting you to do this….

  9. That made me cringe. Spine compression galore. Yeah, idiots abound. I built an honest to god ramp with square tube steel and expanded grating for my trailer (also self fabricated). Don’t have any issues of that nature.

  10. Ugh. Memories.
    Smarter ones involved buying 2 12 foot long 2×8’s and bolting those ramp ends to them.
    Not so smart had me pull the 42 inch Sears riding mower up to the back of somebody’s small pickup (Ranger maybe), set what passed for the mower’s brake & then lift the front end of the mower w/the kid helping while somebody backed the truck up to where we set the front tires on the tailgate. The won’t do that again part had me the lift the ass end of the mower & push it onto the truckbed. At least it was on a flat surface.

  11. People just seem to put waaaaay to much faith in friction, don’t they?

    Mr. Murphy is a harsh teacher, IF you survive.

  13. Looks like his tailgate is drooping as he loads it up. By the time the ramps spit out, the tailgate is damn near pointed down.

    I load a couple of small motorcycles for camp bikes every time we go RV’ing. I damn sure back that truck up to whatever small hill I can to get an edge. And I tell everyone involved in helping, if the bike starts to go off, just jump the fuck out the way. I can always buy a new one.

    • After I was in the Formula Car game for a few years. I worked in a number of motorcycle dealerships. Even the service manager of one.

      But I would often have to go out and rescue some knucklehead. Who couldn’t so much as replace a fuse.

      But always had to load alone. Always. You learn quick. The LAST thing you wanted to do? Was drop someone else’s scooter.

  14. Fuck those neighbors, should have been over there making it safer, assholes. That’s why I chose to leave the big city long ago.

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