Why skills, smarts and a certain panache will get it fixed!
Just call me JOATMON (although I have graduated to JOATMOS).
I learn a new word for what I am, knackler.
Knackler – A person capable of mending anything with anything.
It comes from years of taking everything a part.
For “Maintenance” you could substitute the words “Electronics” and “Laser” and it would be just as valid.
Fuckin’ stupid ass engineers…
Engineers- coming up with complex solutions for simple problems since the beginning of time.
As an early 70’s USAF, fighter mechanic, we had less charitable things to say about them.
I swear to God that they probably write instructions on how to scratch your ass by reaching over your shoulders.
“by”
…fuckin’ al-ke-haul.
You wrote it right, it is “by”.
I wasn’t THAT in the bottle.
Gotta get up a tad bit earlier to screw with my mellon.
Thanks for the change.
One of Goose’s (ie, my old Harley shop boss) favorite lines always came to the fore whenever some dumb fuck with an old piece of shit Ironhead Sportster (those things were ALL pieces of shit, take it from me) asking if we could maybe fix some crap or other on his clapped-out old pre-86 XLH,
See, Goose hated ALL Sportsters old or new, from the mid-50s K-Model flatheads on up to the latest and greatest fuel-injected beasties. After I’d established my H-D wrenching creds to Da Bossman’s satisfaction, I was the only one in the shop who ever worked on Sportys, be they Ironhead or Evo. Didn’t hurt my feelings none, I always have really liked Sportsters, owned several of ’em of various years, engine displacements, paint schemes, and trim levels: 883s, 1000s, 1100s,1200s, way-overbored 1200s, 4 speeds, 5 speeds, including a first-year Evo with a busted tranny which had first gear, neutral, and second gear ONLY. That stubborn little bitch wouldn’t shift higher than second with the motor running, no way no how. I musta yanked that damned tranny out of the case, took it apart, and gone through it with a fine-toothed comb at least 40-50 times. Got to where i could have the transmission out and disassembled in 20 minutes flat–my late wife used to just LOVE watching me do that shit, it completely mesmerized her.
Never did get the issue sorted out, although I do have my suspicions about it; that’s why that 86 engine now sits in Goose’s world-renowned Pro-Street Barstool. The thing’s a Widowmaker as it is, upshifting past 2nd would be just excessive, tantamount to taking your life into your own hands. Two gears is PLENTY fast enough.
Still: OEM or built all to Hell and gone, 35mm Kayaba forks, Wide Glides, or 39mm Showas, swingarm frake or raked rigid with a 20-inch over girder front end–I’ve either owned or at least ridden every Sportster that ever ran the road. Only ever owned one Ironhead though, a barebones 83 XLH, thanks be to a most merciful God.
Anyhoo, soon as the Ironhead guy finished his schpiel, Goose would grin like a mule eating briars, pick up the nearest screwdriver, brandish it in the guy’s face menacingly, and snarl, “See this? This is a fuckin’ SCREWDRIVER, it’ ain’t a magic wand!”
Whereupon New Fish would stare goggle-eyed from one to other of us all flummoxed, forlorn, and maybe a tad frightened, like he was trying to figure out whether these two grubby, grease-stained insaniacs were at all serious about this or no.
Meanwhile, me and Goose were rolling around on that nasty shop floor just laughing ourselves sick at the poor noob. It was great fun. To this day, i still have to grin whenever i think of that one.
Goose also had a blue million outrageous, gross-you-out jokes as well, he never ran out of ’em. Remind me to tell you the one about the Chinese fella messing with the Nee-grow bartender’s head sometime.
Shade tree mechanic here. Put in 8 hours yesterday on my mower, not 2 because I’m slow and old. Freakin inganeers, had to lift the block 1 inch to get the starter off, then created some of my issues but gotter done.
Look, I growed up fixing things, both ‘lectrinic and mech. Got my degree(s) AFTER all that, so when I designed sumptin’ I allowed for things to get fixed EASIER’N the factory stuff rolling around the globe. I really, REEEEALLY think these mechanical and electrical designer/engineers need to put two-three HARD years fixing things before they are let near the drawing board to impress us with their “talent”.
Oh, and let me just say here that my designs don’t break because I OVER-engineer ’em… I wouldn’t make it in the Corporate World. Just because.
As an industrial maintenance mechanic and certified curmudgeon, I was informed that I actually frightened the new people on the production line. Apparently, they wandered past while I was waxing poetic about the mental defectivities of those who had designed the equipment I was struggling with .
Why skills, smarts and a certain panache will get it fixed!
Just call me JOATMON (although I have graduated to JOATMOS).
I learn a new word for what I am, knackler.
Knackler – A person capable of mending anything with anything.
It comes from years of taking everything a part.
For “Maintenance” you could substitute the words “Electronics” and “Laser” and it would be just as valid.
Fuckin’ stupid ass engineers…
Engineers- coming up with complex solutions for simple problems since the beginning of time.
As an early 70’s USAF, fighter mechanic, we had less charitable things to say about them.
I swear to God that they probably write instructions on how to scratch your ass by reaching over your shoulders.
“by”
…fuckin’ al-ke-haul.
You wrote it right, it is “by”.
I wasn’t THAT in the bottle.
Gotta get up a tad bit earlier to screw with my mellon.
Thanks for the change.
One of Goose’s (ie, my old Harley shop boss) favorite lines always came to the fore whenever some dumb fuck with an old piece of shit Ironhead Sportster (those things were ALL pieces of shit, take it from me) asking if we could maybe fix some crap or other on his clapped-out old pre-86 XLH,
See, Goose hated ALL Sportsters old or new, from the mid-50s K-Model flatheads on up to the latest and greatest fuel-injected beasties. After I’d established my H-D wrenching creds to Da Bossman’s satisfaction, I was the only one in the shop who ever worked on Sportys, be they Ironhead or Evo. Didn’t hurt my feelings none, I always have really liked Sportsters, owned several of ’em of various years, engine displacements, paint schemes, and trim levels: 883s, 1000s, 1100s,1200s, way-overbored 1200s, 4 speeds, 5 speeds, including a first-year Evo with a busted tranny which had first gear, neutral, and second gear ONLY. That stubborn little bitch wouldn’t shift higher than second with the motor running, no way no how. I musta yanked that damned tranny out of the case, took it apart, and gone through it with a fine-toothed comb at least 40-50 times. Got to where i could have the transmission out and disassembled in 20 minutes flat–my late wife used to just LOVE watching me do that shit, it completely mesmerized her.
Never did get the issue sorted out, although I do have my suspicions about it; that’s why that 86 engine now sits in Goose’s world-renowned Pro-Street Barstool. The thing’s a Widowmaker as it is, upshifting past 2nd would be just excessive, tantamount to taking your life into your own hands. Two gears is PLENTY fast enough.
Still: OEM or built all to Hell and gone, 35mm Kayaba forks, Wide Glides, or 39mm Showas, swingarm frake or raked rigid with a 20-inch over girder front end–I’ve either owned or at least ridden every Sportster that ever ran the road. Only ever owned one Ironhead though, a barebones 83 XLH, thanks be to a most merciful God.
Anyhoo, soon as the Ironhead guy finished his schpiel, Goose would grin like a mule eating briars, pick up the nearest screwdriver, brandish it in the guy’s face menacingly, and snarl, “See this? This is a fuckin’ SCREWDRIVER, it’ ain’t a magic wand!”
Whereupon New Fish would stare goggle-eyed from one to other of us all flummoxed, forlorn, and maybe a tad frightened, like he was trying to figure out whether these two grubby, grease-stained insaniacs were at all serious about this or no.
Meanwhile, me and Goose were rolling around on that nasty shop floor just laughing ourselves sick at the poor noob. It was great fun. To this day, i still have to grin whenever i think of that one.
Goose also had a blue million outrageous, gross-you-out jokes as well, he never ran out of ’em. Remind me to tell you the one about the Chinese fella messing with the Nee-grow bartender’s head sometime.
Shade tree mechanic here. Put in 8 hours yesterday on my mower, not 2 because I’m slow and old. Freakin inganeers, had to lift the block 1 inch to get the starter off, then created some of my issues but gotter done.
Look, I growed up fixing things, both ‘lectrinic and mech. Got my degree(s) AFTER all that, so when I designed sumptin’ I allowed for things to get fixed EASIER’N the factory stuff rolling around the globe. I really, REEEEALLY think these mechanical and electrical designer/engineers need to put two-three HARD years fixing things before they are let near the drawing board to impress us with their “talent”.
Oh, and let me just say here that my designs don’t break because I OVER-engineer ’em… I wouldn’t make it in the Corporate World. Just because.
As an industrial maintenance mechanic and certified curmudgeon, I was informed that I actually frightened the new people on the production line. Apparently, they wandered past while I was waxing poetic about the mental defectivities of those who had designed the equipment I was struggling with .