I laughed so hard I snorted.

Cook?

I don’t cook, I suck dick!

Then you see the braces.

OMG…

While I was up doing my thrice weekly Cardio Rehab Torture Session I got a freaking text from the DeSantis campaign.

I’m sure it was one of those phone texts that nobody reads responses to but I couldn’t help myself.

Give it up dude.

You were an Also Ran before you got started.

Listen closely and understand that they think they can actually do this.

They seem to think they can do this on a global scale,

In the first place you dumb fucks, nobody voted for you.

Nobody wants you and if you keep fucking around you are definitely going to find out.

I was pretty busy all day yesterday and I’m paying for it this morning but things aren’t going to get done laying around on my ass.

It was clear and cold yesterday and today looks to be the same. Ice on the lawn until it warmed up about Noon.

I had to replace a leaky flapper valve in a toilet in the master bedroom bathroom and also fix a stopped up aerator at the end of a faucet. I tried soaking it in that calcium and lime deposit remover stuff first. I poured some in a baggy and taped it around the spigot and let it soak for over an hour but no love. I wound up taking it apart and poking a dentist’s pick through the holes and cutting off the plastic cover on the top of the damn thing but it works now.

I was just cleaning up and putting things away when The Kid texted me.

He somehow killed the brand new battery on the old Chevy and he couldn’t get it to jump start so I had to drive up to his place to help him out.

I tried using my truck but I’m thinking the jumper cables he had weren’t worth a shit.

I wound up dragging the Horror Fright jumper box out from behind the seat and finally got it going. I had him follow me back here and I stuck a battery charger on it.

I found this old battery charger up around the corner sitting on the curb for free. It looked like it had been dropped out of a third story window a couple of times and there weren’t any wheels on it. I spent two days pounding it back to a semi rectangular shape and then fixing everything wrong with it. I had the axle and wheels left over from my Horror Fright horizontal band saw and they fit perfectly. I also replaced all the broken and missing cord retainers on the back. I’m giving it to The Kid because I already have one.

Then he and The Wifely Unit went out for the rest of the day.

That finally allowed me to drag the floor jack I bought the other day out and start fixing it.

The front wheels were both froze up and one of the swivel wheels in the back was too.

I literally had to use a hammer to drive the front wheels half way off after removing the retainer cap to get to the needle bearings. I’m thinking they hadn’t been lubricated since it left the factory sixty years or so ago.

Same with both swivel wheels.

I probable messed with the thing for four hours but I think it’s good to go.

Just for scale, both of these floor jacks are rated at 2 tons lifting capacity.

Umm, yeah.

I’m pretty sure I know which one I would rather use to lift up the ass of that 5200 pound Dodge 3/4 ton truck.

The Weaver is long enough that I don’t have to have my head underneath the back bumper to operate and that 2 ton rating is a pretty conservative estimate in my opinion.

I think I did pretty good for $30….

It is big and it takes up a lot of room but that just means I’ll have to get rid of some more crap.

Win Win.

Normally I would say that I find it hard to believe that people could be this stupid but every time I do, they up their game to prove me wrong.

Thanks to The Tactical Hermit.

I’m sorry.

The Wifely Unit is pissed off now boy.

A couple weeks ago now I saw this old floor jack on Craigslist.

The guy says it’s a two ton and it works but it’s all rusty looking.

The ad said it had been posted like 17 days ago.

One look at the price though and I was on it like white on rice.

So I emailed him and never heard anything back for about a week.

Dang it.

This has happened before so just for shits and grins, I tried a different method of emailing him instead of Gmail.

A couple days later I finally get a reply.

Yes it’s still available, sorry it took so long to get back to me, he had gone hunting.

That was Monday.

According to the kinda close map on the ad, it looked like it was fairly close.

He said he didn’t get home until 5:30 and he would text me as I sent him my number.

Nothing again, until today.

Turns out he is like 4 minutes away.

My phone had been blowing up and it woke me up from a nap.

This guy, the pharmacy, CederQ, Irish and my youngest daughter.

All in the space of ten minutes.

So I get woke up, tell the wife I need to go pick up the pills today because I have 2 medical appointments tomorrow.

Google maps takes me to the wrong address.

I put in 13570 so and so street and the fucker took me to 14570.

So I am texting the guy and trying to find his place, wound up going down a Cul De Sac and on the way back out, see the guy standing one house down from where I had just driven past. Nice guy, early 30’s.

No luck hunting unfortunately.

He has the jack sitting on the sidewalk.

I give him the THIRTY DOLLARS he wanted for it and I took one look at it and went to getting the cherry picker in the ass of the truck deployed.

This thing has to weigh a hundred and fifty pounds, easy, plus it’s at least four feet long.

Here’s a crappy picture of it, I’ll take some better ones later and post them.

It was getting dark..

It’s blurry as hell but you get the idea.

It’s like the floor jacks you used to see at gas stations and tire shops back in the day.

For $30….

The Wifely Unit caught me red handed trying to push it in the garage and she is Big Mad now.

You would think she would learn by now but apparently not.

Which is why I don’t even bother telling her about shit like this anymore.

I have a Horror Freight 1.5 ton floor jack already.

Trying to pick up the ass of that Dodge don’t work so good.

I wind up underneath the bumper trying to jack the thing up and me no likey that shit.

Not too mention it barely get’s the thing picked up at all when it’s empty.

If this thing works like the guy says then I will be able to roll it underneath the differential and pump away clear of the back of the truck. And at $30, it was $20 cheaper than any seal kit I have seen to even rebuild a cheap Chinesium jack.

So sorry dear, you may be pissed off but there is a method to my madness.

Even if I have to pay to have this one re-sealed I will be money ahead.

You need to be all over this kind of shit.

Fucking Dumbass.

Thinks he is being cool.

Room temperature would work for me.

You Better, You Better, Be Lonely.

The lovely Miss Samantha Fish Live 2022.

She just keeps getting better and better.

Someone made that from scratch in their garage and it works flawlessly.

Easily converted to Full Auto at that point.

No serial number, no tax, untraceable and the best part is it is a Gun Grabbers worst fucking nightmare come to life.

Which is exactly why I am posting it.

Ye Olde Sten Submachine Gun.