Because we need to pity you for having lived a sheltered life.

He gets bonus points for the cigarette too.

My old Man used to have a lot of funny sayings and one in particular I could never figure out where he got it.

Now I know.

#5

Except he always used to say that he got drunker than a piss boiled owl.

I always wondered where in the hell he got that from and now I know that it was probably handed down through the men in the family from the Victorian Age and it just got a little twist to it over time.

Ya learn the strangest shit surfing the net sometimes but somehow I feel better knowing that now.

What is this folding towels thing he speaks of?

I knew damn good and well that monkey post was gonna do this to the trolls.

I guess I’m going to have to post this for them in the future.

Because it’s obvious that they are the kind of people that make this kind of shit necessary.

Livin’ in your head rent free Trolls.

All the day and all the night.

You pathetic losers.

Doghauler asked me to repost this as nobody can get to the old site because I paid to have the links redirected here. Even I can’t get to it. I do still have access to the dashboard however and was able to go in and copy past this.

Reader Michael made a very good suggestion about putting some food buckets up and having them handy to give out to folks who are having hard times.

Lord knows they are coming for all of us but there are already lots of people in need right now.

I am going to copy and paste his message to me. It took me a second because I just got home from work and I am tired but you will see some abbreviations in here. WM= WalMart and GV= Great Value, their In House brands.

I’m sure you can substitute anything that meets the same requirements from any supermarket brand.\

2 X 5 gallon Buckets and lids = 9.28
2 X 8 pound dried GV pinto Beans = 11.96 100 calories per 1/4 cup dry (or about 1/3 cup cooked) 8 grams protein x 206 servings = 20,600 calories and 1,648 grams protein
1 X 20 pound GV White rice  = 8.98  160 cal per 1/4 cup dry (or a bit over 1/2 cup cooked) 3 grams protein X 202 servings = 32,320 calories and 606 grams protein
6 X 12 ounce GV luncheon loaf various flavors = 13.08  180 calories per 2 oz serving, 7 grams protein X 36 servings = 6,480 calories and 252 grams protein
26 oz container Iodized Salt 54 cents
3 oz black pepper 2.68
2 oz jar chili pepper (pick the spice you like here) 3.98
4 pounds pure cane sugar 2.08 Calories NOT Counted just flavoring for Japanese Sweet Beans, Sweet Rice and so on.
16 oz cooking oil  2.00 (Get the BEST Bottle you can leaks suck) Calories not counted just needed for cooking say refried beans and such.
130 count adult multivitamin 4.88
120 count 500 mg Vitamin C 3.96
25 +25 Beef and Chicken Bouillon cubes 3.76
Box of 100 black tea bags 1.00
Total cost 68.36
Total calories 59,400 /2,000 calories per day adult = 29.7 Man-days
Total Protein 2,506 / 30 days = 83 grams protein daily WELL over min needed here. 

 Mercy Bucket part two adds one more 5 gallon bucket with lid, an extra 20 pound WM GV White Rice and space for extras to double the 30 man days to 60 with still 40 grams protein. Cost + 8.98 for rice, + 4.64 for bucket and lid (WHY do folks spend so much time looking for “Free Buckets” and wash them forever…) = an additional 13.62 or about what I spend on a Burger Combo and a Shake….
Just for fun I did some “research” on “Survival Foods” and most “Servings” are about 140 calories mostly carbs and very little protein. AND from my asking about very FEW Folks have ever cooked some up and tastes them. I have several I’ve tasted. Worse was *Cough Wise *Cough*.
Move it or lose it, these prices and availability of cheap food will NOT last.
And again Phil sorry I forgot to mention in the email that you can PLANT and grow more pinto beans from those dry beans. I use them as seed in my garden yearly.

A great idea and my thanks to Michael for taking the time and effort to put this together and for sharing it.

I am going to add one thing here from some recent experience.

I don’t know if anyone else has run into this but Lowes had some Food Grade buckets on sale here a few months ago so I bought five of them. They were about $3 each. The store had stacks of buckets all over the place but no lids near any of the stacks. I wandered around until I found some help and they directed me clear back to a far corner of the store near the ABS pipe and stuff. That’s where they were hiding the lids and I’m here to tell you that they didn’t have near as many lids as they had buckets.

They also cost dang near as much as the buckets.

What I ran into later was that after I used a couple of the buckets for things people use buckets for, throwing stuff in, hauling stuff around, two out of the five busted open on the sides and one started leaking out of the bottom because it cracked.

So what I’m saying here is that you need to be careful when you are buying buckets anymore, apparently there are some seriously inferior ones getting into circulation.

I have never run into brittle plastic buckets until now.

Sometimes they just write themselves.

BFYTW

Cue the outrage in 3…2…1…

“Hair conditioner helps keep butt crack hairs from tangling.”

Brought over from the old site by request.