Are You Fucking Serious?

I just got woke up at 9:00 A.M. on the dot, on a Sunday morning, by some kind of engine that fired up and went to pretty much full throttle, followed shortly by some very violent noises, the engine loading up hard and then more noises, followed by the engine winding back up to full throttle.

Rinse and repeat.

As I laid there irritated as fuck by being woke up by this commotion, part of my brain started down the list of noises it has encountered and filed away in the past until it hit the right combination and a little light came on in my brain.

Fucking Wood Chipper.

Really?!

The sonofabitch sounded like it was right on the other side of the wall from where I had been sleeping.

So I got up, threw some britches on and a coat, grabbed my smokes and went out front to investigate.

Bigger than shit.

That thing was so loud, I couldn’t hear the little chain saw another guy was using to knock the Arbor Vitae down with.

I’ll have to remember to thank my neighbor for picking such a great time to decide a little deforestation was in order….

6 thoughts on “Are You Fucking Serious?

  1. Had a neighbor in Norfolk when I was in the service that used to like to mow his lawn starting at 7am every Saturday. I was coming home from my mid shift early one morning looking forward to some sleep and remembered that it was Saturday.

    So I snuck over the fence and pulled the spark plug out of his mower and went to bed.

    It took him until 10 to get a new one and start mowing. Hey, I got an extra 2 and a half hours of rest anyway.

  2. I fully understand. My neighbor has one of those chippers and it has a V-8 engine. The mufflers are low restriction and loud.

  3. Vermeer makes a 1000bhp tub and horizontal chipper. Can drop a whole tree in at one time. They have a 1/4 mile thrown object zone. Did engineering on them when I was younger man. They are located in Pella Iowa, cute town that has a tulip festival.

  4. How about the construction equipment beeping away while in reverse at 4am. Like some kid is going to be on the street at 4am and needs the warning sound. Or anyone else for that matter. Once again the result of fucking lawyers.

  5. Those chippers are loud as hell. When we had our camp property logged for softwood twenty years ago, they brought in one twice that size. Ate a whole 40 foot spruce in seconds.

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