Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

7:00 PM.

I just now came in and sat down.

Fighting with that fucking lawnmower, STILL.

I put a new carb on it and changed the oil.

It started right up and ran for a couple of minutes and then the Smoke Bomb went off again.

To the point I couldn’t see my hand in front of my face and the entire house was enveloped with white smoke.

I shut the bastard down and just sat there and cussed for a couple of minutes.

I was sure that carb was the problem but apparently not.

I started it back up and it smoked for a second and quit.

It just sat there and purred.

I fucked with the throttle and it seemed like it would start in at a slow idle.

After a while it quit again.

So I unhooked the bagger and headed out to the front yard.

I engaged the blade and got three whole feet before it smoked out the entire neighborhood.

I disengaged the blade and it cleared up again.

WTF?!

Engage the blade, more smoke.

I started to back the bastard back into the sideyard but it cleared up again.

So I engaged the blade.

No smoke.

I started in mowing the yard.

Made 3/4’s of one pass, started up the little incline and here it come again.

MOTHER FUCKER!

It ain’t making no damn sense.

Broken oil ring?

Sticking rings?

It runs fine, it just smokes like a WWII Smoke Screen.

I disengage the blade.

It stops smoking.

I re-engage it and no smoke.

I started making laps and that dirty bastard didn’t smoke for the next half hour.

I mowed it once to knock it down and then I fucking scalped it.

Not a lick of smoke that whole time.

Just in case something else goes wring with the fucking thing, it will give me a couple of weeks to fuck with it.

I have no idea why it’s doing that.

Put that dirty fucker away and then changed the oil in my truck.

Only to find out they gave me the wrong oil filter.

What part of 89 Chevy Silverado with a SB 350 did they miss?

I even told the guy the thing looked too fucking small.

Nope, That’s the right one.

My achin’ ASS it is.

Of course I discover this after I filled the bastard up with oil so now I can’t even take the fucker back.

It just never fucking ends.

Ever.

It’s now 7:20 and I have to figure out something to eat.

Get cleaned up and then try to catch up on what’s gone on while I was busy all day.

I hate having two Mondays in a row,

37 thoughts on “Ain’t No Rest For The Wicked

  1. Does it have the Honda motor in it? They’re notorious for sticking valve guides and guide/stem issues. No load (blade off) high vacuum then load with blades. Oil sucked in and the smoke screen. Just my opinion…:)

  2. No Grace either… Could it be the clutch/ Does it have a electric or a lever clutch?

  3. I know you are off the bottle but almost every day when I get home, I have a 1 beer project that I tackle.
    Weekends it’s usually a 3-4 beer project each day.
    Right now I’m building a bench made of claro walnut. I’ve been working on it for at least a couple cases of beer.
    Sorry I can’t be more help on the smoke. I used to fix my own stuff and am fairly mechanically minded but there isn’t enough beer to fix some stuff.

  4. Blue smoke on hot start is an intake valve seal/guide. White smoke is usually exhaust valve guide/seal being burnt after combustion.

  5. It seems that you may have a vacuum issue. If the crankcase cannot maintain vacuum it will suck oil up into the valves. While not enough to be a concern, will make smoke. Usually it’s bad gasket. Check the valve cover gasket if it has been removed. If not it is probably the gasket on the dipstick.

    Just trying to help.

    Joe

    Peoples Republic of Maryland

  6. sounds like the rings. if it only smokes with a load on the engine.
    either sticking or maybe cracked or broken one.
    pull the plug, dump in some ATF and acetone mix and wait a day or two.
    that will free it up, most of the time.
    I need to replace the engine in my 1994 4runner as it locked solid from sitting
    for close to 3 years (no cash to do it) and every time I try to work on the damn thing, my back starts screaming at me after 20 minutes . I stop after my leg starts to feel like it on fire. old age sucks !
    it always when you think you doing okay, when the FUCKING comes to bring you back to the real world.

    • Pour some diesel down in the cylinders and in the crankcase and just let it sit.
      For at least a month.
      I have seen engines completely rusted solid break loose by doing that.

      • I use Ford Type A suffix A tranny fluid, let it seep past the rings for about, oh, 3 weeks. Works every time.
        Residue not a problem, other than smoking like Phil’s lawnmower for a minute or two…

  7. Calling retail counter help “parts monkeys” is an insult to simians worldwide.

    Collapsing supply chain tip:
    When you get the right one, buy three, and put the next two on the shelf.

  8. Seeing I just replaced a 21 HP Briggs single lung that totally failed (as in shattered con rod), it too was smoking a lot before it failed. Did a forensic on it. Had the infamous Briggs head gasket leak between the piston and the valve rocker chamber. That screws up engine vacuum big time. That was the source of the smoke.

    The failed con rod was just another event. Rings were perfect, piston was perfect, valves were fine, pushrods were perfect and lifters were perfect. Gears and oil pump were perfect. So 800 bucks due to a head gasket leak and failed con rod (new replacement 19HP engine).

    I concur – check the EGR is not plugged up and then replace the head gasket. I am 99% sure that is your issue. With luck nothing else is wrong. Cheap fix, original set from Briggs via Amazon is 27 bucks. I happen to know as I bought one. Going to keep it for the new engine which I hope will last 10 years like the old one did.

  9. What do the plugs look like? If pugs look ok, the oil is getting in past the combustion chambers, so exhaust is sucking it in. Ex valve guide(s)/seals.

  10. You might try replacing the high temp o ring at the bottom of the dipstick tube. It worked for me on my 18h Briggs Stratton Ivtec in a Craftsman riding mower. Crankcase pressure issue maybe.

  11. You don’t know the partnumber to your oil filters?

    Not a dig, but after a few oil changes, I have the filter PN in my head. I’d at least take a p-touch and put a label on the door frame.

    I get the filters at wally world. It’s one of the few things I’ll brave that place to go buy. And since I got my hoarder skills, I stocked up on a years worth. Now, I use one, I go buy one. I always have the right filters because I stock them now.

    I’m thinking of buying tires for the wife’s hot rod and sticking them in my shed. She doesn’t need them right now, but it makes sense to get them before they get scarce and expensive.

    • This is the first Chevy I have owned in forty years and I was taking it to Jiffy Lube because getting rid of the used oil is a pain in the ass.

      • In my state you can take used oil to any auto parts store and they will take it and recycle it for free. Just call around and ask places close by if they accept it. Also, garages will sometimes take it. I save laundry soap bottles and sometimes 2-liter bottles to store the oil.

  12. I’m no pro mechanic, but the in the suggestions above I’d go with rings.

    Suffices to say…

    Ain’t nothing free in this world.

    Had a neighbor give me an ’83 chebbie van he had sitting in his driveway for five years. Most expensive free vehicle I’ve ever owned.

  13. Head gasket, then valve guides, in that order. Go with the cheap fix first…

    Sure sounds like the head gasket though.

  14. First, I think you are sucking crankcase oil somehow into the intake manifold like an over fill condition. Second, oh man, I mean it never ever ends. Same thing happened to me at O’reilly. 93 sbc 5.7 they hand me one looks like a harley filter. “That’s what the book calls for”, duh. WIX filters are good but the book is wrong. WIX 51060 was what I needed.
    Damn near had knock the little shit out to get him to sell me one. Punk has never seen a sbc but works in auto parts. SMH

    • There is a lot of draw when the motor is under stress, pto, uphill etc. so governer tries to keep rpms constant and opens throttle more and more. could be sucking from the cc vent, like an over full. Hope this makes sense and helps.

      • I’m going to find out the next time I run it.
        It ran for a half hour straight with no smoke.
        If it was a head gasket it should do it all the time.

  15. Check your oil level ,little over full some engines will smoke then quit, then smoke again on an incline then quit and do it again, also make sure it has the correct district. This shit has happened to me a couple of times. Good luck and thanks for your service.

  16. Bin the SOB and hire a busload of illegals with a pair of scissors each!
    No need to thank me . . .

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